I have written a lot of posts about body image before, and unlike any other subject I feel like it needs writing about because it is one of those problems that just never changes.
Almost every single person I know has an unhealthy outlook on their body, we all have certain 'areas' we don't like at the very least while some of us just hate their shape altogether. When we were kid I don't think anyone thought about their body. No 7 year old looks at a photo of themselves in a bikini and says "Do I look fat in this?" Of course things change because there comes puberty and the desire to attract the opposite or same sex, but at the same time this doesn't merit us suddenly deciding to hate ourselves.
About 2 months ago I was the heaviest I have been in a long time. Saying that, you'll probably think I mean that I was a size 14, or 12 at least. I was a size 10...which in ASOS terms means 'small'. At first I didn't care, I thought "Oh great, my boobs have got even bigger and I actually have a bum now!"
Needless to say that didn't last very long. Suddenly my mum was on my back. She would ask me to get on the scales and when I refused she'd accuse me of being embarrassed of my weight; essentially putting ideas into my head. Then it would become "why are you eating that?" and "have you thought about joining the gym?" I started to feel like people were looking at me, looking at me while I ate and looking at my body. So I started dieting. I didn't want to be thin, I just didn't want to be uncomfortable which I think a lot of girls can relate to.
The funny thing is, that only a couple of years ago I had the complete opposite problem. During the end of my freshers year of Uni I dropped a stone and a half. I don't know whether it was halls food, stress or even just a change of environment. What I do know is that I hated how I looked, and I didn't want it to happen. Not that anyone believed me. I had friends sitting me down asking me about my 'eating disorder' and just didn't know how to react. It's like being asked how your broken leg is when you're walking fine.
Thankfully I managed to put the weight back on within a few months, and it doesn't bother me anymore that people thought I had an eating disorder - I can handle that. What does bother me is the reason why people assumed so. That reason is that eating disorders are about as commonplace as being left handed nowadays. We can't stop picking on each other and picking on ourselves, and until we find a way to do so the situation is only going to get worse. Eating disorders don't just happen, people hating their bodies doesn't either. We are not born that way.
Society nowadays is obsessed with making people feel bad for things that come naturally to them. Being gay, being black, being too thin or fat. The difference is, we have at least marginally progressed with racism and homophobia. Until the media changes for good, and with that our attitudes we will be forced to raise our children in a world where they don't feel good enough in the bodies that they have been given. I don't know about you, but I don't want to raise daughters in a world like the one we're living in. I don't want my little girls to point to a cover of Vogue and ask me why they aren't tall and thin enough to be models. I want them to be so happy in themselves that they have time to focus on more important things.
I'm sure a few of you have heard of the model Robyn Lawley (above). She's a 'plus size' model from Australia and she is gorgeous. I personally always thought plus size meant you had to be a size 16 or something. She's a size 12. This woman is constantly defending her body and it's almost hilarious to watch because she just isn't fat. At all. The fact that we live in a world where someone who I would call thin is forced to fight against the public for her right to model is disgusting.
Not only is it the girls, but boys are under a huge amount of pressure. When I was growing up I remember that in order for boys to fit in with each other they had to be able to be good at football or good at video games and so on. These days, they also have to be fit. Protein shake fit. No carbs before marbs fit. It's such a shame! If I was the only one in my friendship group that wasn't really built I would start to feel bad about myself. The reality is, just like guys don't need girls to be skinny, girls don't need guys to be muscly.
There is no way I can change the media, call up Conde Nast and tell them to put all their models out of work. If there was, I probably would. What I can do, in fact what WE can do is start with ourselves. None of us have perfect bodies. Just because we don't have perfect personalities doesn't mean we never open our mouths, therefore we should have no limitations on showing pride in our figures for the good and the bad.
If everyone could just say what makes their bodies imperfect, and why they don't care we'll stop projecting the negativity onto each other and at least in one small way, we'll all be a bit happier.
I'll start. I will never have a flat stomach and the gap between my thighs will probably never be big enough to fit a pencil through. I don't give a flying fuck. I've got good tits and a good heart underneath them.
Yours crazily,
Olivia Jane
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