When I was growing up, I used to spend every Saturday morning drinking Nesquik and watching Mary-Kate and Ashley in "Two of a Kind."
And like every other kid of the 90s, I always wondered what it would be like to have a twin and secretly wanted one.
After a few years I was replacing Nesquik with Smirnoff, and in turn started throwing it up on a Saturday morning instead of drinking it. It took until this age to realise that I had a twin all along.
I never really noticed that my sister and I looked that alike, but as the years went on and I started being called 'mini-Steph' wherever I went, it became quite nice and cute.
Not now though.
It took one big change to make having someone you love look like you go from a novelty to a pain in the ass.
Sibling Perverts
It is almost as though these boys had tried and failed at hooking up with my sister, and so were given a second chance to give it another stab so to speak.
Quite possibly the most horrified I've ever been through one of these encounters was at Market Bar in Nottingham during my Freshers Year.
A guy that had been in halls with my sister approached me saying I looked just like a girl he used to be in love with. At first I stood there bemused watching him describe my sister, and definitely found it funny introducing myself and seeing the shock and awe on his face. But after a while it became incredibly not funny.
By the time this guy had convinced me to let him buy me a drink he had mentioned my sister's name about 7 times.
"Stephanie has such beautiful hair, it's so shiny."
"Stephanie's boobs were always so nice, yours look just like them."
And the final straw when he leaned in to attempt a kiss and uttered "I love Stephanie," was the point that I could not have run fast enough.
So this guy was clearly an example of someone with some sort of twisted fetish for my sister and her impossibly Asian-esque hair, but even so what about the other types of sibling perverts. These are the ones that are just simply youth predators.
Youth Predators
Youth Predators are very common in North West London, as well as in Nottingham. These are the guys who get older and older every year, but pursue the same age group of girls consistently. They were hitting on Freshers when they were Freshers, and they will probably continue to when they are the fathers of them.
These are the 23 year old guys you see sitting at Shisha with 17 year old girls sipping on their strawberry milkshakes. Essentially they just look like Arabic babysitters coddling some child surrounded by all the smoke and drapery.
The correlation that comes from this example is the kind of guy I find that will hit on me purely on the basis that I am a younger version of my sister. As if her being two years older than me deems her an OAP. The worst of the worst of these boys is someone named Bradley. Most of you reading this probably know who he is.
Freakishly wealthy, pretty good looking and from a nice family but with absolutely no respect or game when it comes to women.
This guy spent most of his school days asking out my sister, to which he always got a definitive "no." A few years later he began asking me out, and considering the time that had passed I thought it was sweet...but still gave the same response that she did. It got a little less sweet when just the other day he asked me out within a space of about 2 weeks of asking out my sister. As you can imagine, I've lost all respect for this desperate and slimy guy.
To think that he wouldn't realise that my sister and I speak enough to know that we're being asked out by the same guy is if anything quite insulting. After all, had we both said yes what was he planning on doing?
So my real question is, why siblings?
Is it because of all the great twin porn that's on the internet?
Or maybe just because it's nice to get a second chance at one girl?
I'd love to hear back what you guys think,
Olivia Jane
xx
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