Who's Afraid of Vagina Wolf?

When you consider how different our lives are to that of our parents growing up, a few things stand out.

There are a lot of things that you almost never see past 1989. Disco music, flared jeans, VW camper vans and of course a full bush. 

Yes I said it. 

Call it what you will: bush, muff, beaver. Either way it is very close to extinction. What I find interesting about this idea is that although men and women are genetically designed to have a totally natural attraction to one another; what is considered to be sexy does in fact evolve with the rest of pop culture.

Just look at Demi Moore for goodness sake! 

This pubic hair idea may seem alien to the youth of today, after all I'm sure your average girl from Hampstead Garden Suburb couldn't imagine wanting the fur on her vaj to exceed the fur on her Ugg boots.

The funny thing is that of all the crazes that women seem to follow, this appears to be one of the only ones perpetrated by men. Disagree with me all you like, but when it comes to getting dressed girls listen to their friends...when it comes to getting undressed however it's all down to the boys. 

This is all well and good, but my problem with it is that boys don't quite understand what girls go through to upkeep this idealised pornstar persona that sprung up roundabout the same time as the Spice Girls. (I'm sure those sneaky bitches had something to do with it.)

So for all the men out there who didn't need to know this, here's an idea of a basic bikini wax:

You go into a room with a complete stranger who smiles at you and asks you to take your underwear off.

 If you were anywhere else in the world and you would call the police.

 Then this cheshire cat grinning person proceeds to pour hot wax onto your unsuspecting body from what can only be described as a fondu pot of horror.

 After some time of awkward conversation while trying not to show you're in pain this woman rubs oil on you for just a little longer than feels legal, and then you pay her a fucking shedload. "Here's some money for butchering me, devil woman, see you soon!"
Meanwhile our boyfriends are sitting around itching their hairy balls and deciding what to eat for lunch. 

The real question here is, why just women? 

While I don't love the process of hair removal (I'm not a masochist after all) even so I agree with the idea of it. As a naturally un-hairy Ashkenazi person the concept of bodily hair just really doesn't fly with me, but even so boys can walk around looking like Chewbacca for months at a time without a moments thought. 

Of course some men are different, but when men take it to the extremes that women do it actually becomes quite repugnant. Men of the world: shaving it will not make it look bigger. It is not a tree. End of. 

When you consider the stomach churning image of a man's genitals completely hair free like a child, surely you could say the same about women? But no one does. 

Amongst most girls I know, regardless of their own preference, they would rather take it all off than take any chances with a little landing strip or glimmer of evidence that they ever hit puberty. These girls worry that their prospective partners will have a problem with the sight of any hair, meanwhile said partners are probably frolicking around with ass-cracks that look like Cousin Itt.

When it comes to men, the hair game is entirely different. My boyfriend and his brother are quite possibly the hairiest people I have ever met. Last time I was with the two of them and without contact lenses I actually couldn't tell them apart. Not because they look particularly similar but because they were just a blur of hair surrounded by a cloud of smoke. Irritatingly enough, there's nothing wrong with it. They just both look a little bit like Jesus (who was obviously GQ man of the year right up to his last supper).  

Genetically speaking, the real answer is that men are supposed to be hairy. It's one of those things that comes along with being a hunter - sweat, hair and muscles. Although women are capable of these things in smaller doses, no one wants to see it. 

Women groom and men grow, it's just the natural way of the universe at this point. Just as the lioness reclines grooming herself, the lions bound over all hairy and full of predatorial energy. 

At the end of the day, I believe everyone should treat their bodies in whichever way makes them comfortable. There is nothing wrong with hair removal - but there is with it being a craze, pressure and expectation. In today's society where people boast so much freedom of expression, they should at least be able to make their own choices when it comes to what is truly personal. 

Thanks for reading,

Olivia Jane

xx