PDA - Yay or Nay?

As I was walking down Camden high street yesterday I decided to stop and take in the view. It was a completely gorgeous day with the sun shining and a whiff of incense and curry in the air. Unfortunately my view was obstructed by something truly irritating that I like to call a 'Titanic couple'. These are the couples that partake in a confounding and cringe-worthy ritual of standing in one spot holding one another as if they're about to crash into an iceberg and never see each other again.
I know I sound cynical but I am not anti PDA altogether, a little hand holding or peck on the lips in public can be cute. Standing still however sniffing out each other's fabric softeners just feels a little unneccesary. Aside from all else, they just get in the way. You have to walk around them like potholes in the road and it's quite frankly just awkward to watch.
These couples aren't just in Camden, they are everywhere. At Luton airport spooning while standing up, in Brent Cross blocking the entrance of Yo! Sushi (not okay) and even on the escalators on the tube. I pointed this out to my prat of a boyfriend while on the adjoining escalator, at which point he decided to dramatically put his arms around my waist and squeeze me like a beanie baby. Needless to say it was sufficiently embarrassing, but I couldn't help but wonder how the other couples that weren't even joking managed to feel no shame.
This got me thinking about all the different types of PDA, and there are morealess 3 known to modern society: emotional PDA, sexual PDA and worst of all online PDA.

Emotional PDA
There is nothing more gnawingly cringe-worthy than emotional PDA. These are the couples that walk the streets of London clinging onto each other like koalas in a constant state of spoonage. Gazing into each other's eyes, sitting on each other's laps when there are other chairs around and just nuzzling all the time. The funny thing is that I've noticed about it, is that it actually makes people sleepy.
Whenever you see these couples around, they seem to be always on the brink of falling asleep. It's almost as if they have gotten so comfortable using one another as pillows that they just start to drift. I challenge you to spot out one of these couples on the bus or sitting outside a bar, they are always one cup of hot cocoa away from conking out.

I'm not going to lie, obviously I am sometimes guilty of this as I'm sure everyone is. A little bit of leaning on someone's shoulder or having someone's arms around you is actually pretty nice. I think what it depends on is how often you act like that and in what company. The whole reason why the general public have such a problem with PDA is because so many couples just don't know when to stop. It is fundamentally anti-social to be endlessly kissing and hugging all freaking night. Which brings me to my next point...

Sexual PDA

If grooming each other like you're on the Discovery channel seems bad, the only thing worse when in a group of friends, or anywhere for that matter, is sexual PDA. These are the couples that are just jumping eachother's bones at every given opportunity. There's nothing worse than sitting in a group of friends and having to see boyfriend number 25 put his hands down your best friends skirt. Especially when it's actually your skirt because she borrowed it.
Sucking face in public is truly just unsanitary and unattractive. There is not one part of me that wants to see two people discovering what one another have eaten for lunch. The thing with sexual PDA is that it only gets worse and branches out into full blown sex in public. Like the couples in the corner of Tiger Tiger putting their fingers up each other's crevices and thinking for some reason that no one can see them. The only situation in which I can't see you pleasuring your girlfriend, buddy, is if you are Harry Potter and she is Hermione and you have the cloak of invisibility on...otherwise keep your hands where I can see them. (I don't really understand Harry Potter, but I have it on good repute that there is a cloak involved)

A couple that I know actually take part in a fair bit of this version of PDA. They have been known to shtup in fields, fellate by lakes and morealess just fornicate anywhere with some nice wildlife about. Clearly they have some unmentioned penchant for farmyard animals. Nonetheless this couple even played chicken with each other on the tube recently, which apparently resulted in little more than embarrassment and some smiles from other passengers.
I suppose in this context it's all about risk taking more than the showing off of lovey-dovey emotional PDA, but it is still hardly any better in spite of how many of us take part in it. But the worst kind of PDA?

Online PDA

Before I start ranting about this, I will confess to a number of things. I have done the couple profile picture, the writing on a boyfriends wall and even the 'girlfriend frape'. I want to clarify that as with all other forms of PDA, I have no problem with it other than the lack of moderation that some people show.
One thing that I have heard many people of the generation above ours say about Facebook, Twitter and social media in general is a very simple 'who cares?' To quote Mr. Griffith in 'Easy A'

 “I don’t know what your generation’s fascination is with documenting your every thought… but I can assure you, they’re not all diamonds. “Roman is having an OK day, and bought a Coke Zero at the gas station. Raise the roof.” Who gives a rat’s ass?”

If it's uninteresting enough to so many people hearing about the non-events in people's day to day lives, what could possibly provoke more of a "who gives a rat's ass" reaction than people flaunting their relationships all over Facebook. The real problem with it is that a person's Facebook profile should be a reflection of themselves and of course their social lives, however agreeable one might find that. Therefore when a girls profile is just a shrine to her relationship, it just leaves you thinking "what else is there?"

I'm sure I'm not the only one who gets utterly cringed out by the couples with matching profile pictures, or those that write 'I love you' on each other's walls or constantly upload photos of presents that they have recieved from one another. For every upload of a bouquet of flowers, I can almost guarantee that there is a single girl somewhere sitting in front of Bridget Jones' Diary glaring at her computer screen.

A world without PDA
If you ever wondered what it would be like if we abandoned PDA altogether, then just take a look at Orthodox Jews. A people of tradition, they believe in the sanctity of what goes on between a man and wife behind closed doors. Not only should a man make no physical contact with his wife in public, but he should make no physical contact with any woman for that matter.
Until marriage, Orthodox Jews that follow the principle of 'shomer negiah' fully abstain from touching the opposite sex. This means that couples can be together for years and not only avoid touching each other in public, but in private also (or so they tell us).

This makes me think that possibly the reason why secular couples partake in PDA so readily is because they are used to touching each other with such frequence that they see no barrier created by where they are. The difference with a religious couple is that they grow to appreciate the value of time spent touching each other that they wouldn't quite so readily start groping at one another's anatomy in the street, regardless of what rules they henceforth follow.
Perhaps this is a better way of doing things because it keeps relationships as they should be, between two people.


I think the stigma with PDA is that everyone takes it just that little bit too far and ruins it for the bunch. PDA is lovely when it is about comfortability and happiness and romance. When it becomes a matter of showing off or just simply becoming unsavoury it ruins it for everyone. I genuinely believe that some couples can't see their own disgustingness, it's almost like having babies - you will find every dump that comes out of your baby the most beautiful chocolatey gift from god. Your friends, however cute they find it, just don't need to see as much.

So I suppose the ultimate question in all of this is whether or not PDA is ever truly appreciated by anyone but the couple themselves. Just something to think about.


I hope you enjoyed this read and will be back soon.

Olivia Jane

xx