Princes to Pansies

They say that our perceptions on love are based on what we see as kids. For me, and quite possibly all other girls of our generation that meant Disney films. I used to sit glued to the screen watching the princes fight monsters, climb towers and go through all hells to impress the girls they loved; this of course became the expectation.
Of course after a few years of growing my hair past my bum and talking to animals I realised that it might be a little impractical to expect a prince to come and rescue me on his steed; especially considering the traffic on the M1. Nonetheless I still expected that the men I met when I was older would still exhibit the bravery and strength of these princes, even if their biggest claim to royalty is allegedly being a descendant of the Prince of Egypt.
It turns out I couldn't have been more wrong. I thought the most celebrated boys I knew would have the bravery of Hercules, the commitment of Prince Charming and Aladdin...well he really fucked Jasmine over but still he at least had nice hair. In reality, what we're left with is for the most part an increasing number of weak, fearful men. Pansies. I know it sounds like I am generalising, but I am not implying that all men of our generation are like this by any means. What I really mean is that it seems the ones who have the most power over us are actually the most weak, and it is the strong ones that take and receive no credit. It begs the question really, when did the princes in our lives start putting down their swords and hiding behind their shields?

When did Princes become Pansies?

One possible answer is that men are so much more feminine and luxuriant these days. As I've previously mentioned, there's an increasing rise of male peacocking and an overall change in the men of our generation that makes them veer towards self indulgence. While most of the guys I know openly admit to using sunbeds, plucking their eyebrows and focusing on controlled diets; it's no wonder that they have no room left to be strong, brave forces in our lives. We live in a generation of no widespread war, and so the biggest battle facing most guys I know is trying to sleep with a girl and avoid seeing her again.

On that note, it could also be suggested that us girls are to blame. With female promiscuity on the rise so openly, it seems that men no longer value the girls that they court in the same exclusive way, and so do not make the same amount of effort as they used to. There's no need for a guy to slay any dragons to see the girl that drunk texts him in the middle of the night. I'm sure that if Sleeping Beauty had sent Prince Philip a picture of her boobs, he wouldn't have bothered climbing that tower...

Nonetheless aside from the reasons for general lack of care from men, it is the fear aspect that is completely inexplicable. I was in a relationship for the better part of three years, and upon entering back into the single world I almost felt that I had given the male population some time to grow a pair. Unfortunately, what I found was that they had all become weaker than before. Where I used to see men as protectors and providers like bears, I was faced with a host of shivering squirrels that soil themselves and run away when you get too close.

Are We Cleaning Up Each Other's Mess?

While I was still in a relationship, I was constantly hearing girls stories of guys being scared off too easily. I naturally assumed that when I was single, this meant that they would be scared off by my quirks like my bright red hair or my strange sense of humour.
Once I finally found a guy that I liked, I was more than impressed to discover that he was more amused by my weirdness than afraid. It turns out that it didn't actually matter who I was or what my personality was like, this guy was scared off just by the prospect of me being any girl for him to get close to. It seemed that this guys ex girlfriend had made such a dramatic exit that she left him castrated and quivering, unable to trust another girl again.
I was as gentle as possible with this guy, patient with all of his needs to take things slow; after all I was hardly in a rush to involve myself in little more than a casual fling at that time. By the end of things though, it seemed I spent so much time tip toeing around the feelings of this guy that I forgot to take care of myself and be realistic about what I actually wanted. Aside from this, he had no way of ensuring that I was happy either because he was so damaged himself.
I learned from this that he, much like many other boys of our generation hid behind fear so much that he used it as a way to protect himself while getting what he wanted. It seems that there has been evolving a breed of fearful men that keep us walking on eggshells to avoid further damaging their psychosomatic 'issues', aka messes that their ex girlfriends left for us to clean up. So essentially, as far as the damage is concerned, it is actually our fault. We're throwing our men on the floor for other girls to pick up and dust off, instead of simply recycling them.

Where Are The Real Princes Hiding?

Even if the men in our lives who steal the most glory are the damaged ones, what we forget is to take into account the real heroes and princes. They are not the guys at the gym who would be electively hooked up to a protein drip if optional, or the designer belt toting guys at clubs spending thousands on tables of alcohol. While we're sitting around waiting to be phoned back by the arrogant self-professed princes in our lives, we neglect the true princes.
These are the guys that we left in the friend zone, the guys who have characteristics of real strong men like honesty, kindness and genuine confidence. We should take some time to consider the men who epitomise what really makes a man strong. The sort of guys that will call you up in the middle of the night to let you know they care without expecting anything in return.

At the end of the day, I don't think I need to find a Prince Charming right now. We may have started watching films about the princesses who sit in their towers sleeping and waiting, but in the end got a chance to learn about the ones that take off their tiaras and actually go and fight their own battles. Should I find a guy along the way that can show me a fraction of the integrity and strength of a real prince, then I will not get on the back of his steed but ride alongside him. After all, there's only so much a girl can let down her hair before she gets split ends.

I hope you enjoyed this read, and look forward to your suggestions as always :)

Olivia Jane