Playing Dress Up

When I first started this blog, my main objective was to give a voice to our generation of students in the world of love and sex. Crucial to this undertaking however, is dealing with the subjects that no one talks about. We live in a time where you can buy cherry flavoured lubricant as part of your weekly Tesco shop, but our peers blush an even fruitier colour when asked to actually talk about their sex lives.
I've decided to bite the proverbial bullet and start with a topic that almost no one really talks about - dressing up.

It seems that even if we don't discuss it, dressing up for sex is on the increase. With the average lingerie store bursting at the lacey seams with corsets, push up bras and elaborate thongs it creates a blurred line between underwear and burlesque attire. It seems that not only is everyone dressing up for sex, but that it may not even be considered any more risqué than simply making an effort.

Not only is it in our shop windows, but it is on the pubescent figures of school girls. I can't imagine what the teenage boys of today did to deserve it, but they are faced with parades of 15 year old girls at Halloween parties dressed like they're auditioning for Coyote Ugly. Last I checked, teenagers are supposed to have nightmares about their classmates seeing them in their underwear...not instigating it.
If it is on our high streets and on our teenagers, it's safe to say that dressing up is in our bedrooms too. So it begs the question, why do we dress up so much for an activity we usually dress down for?

Unwrapping

One theory is that we add these extra elements to our bedtime wardrobes so that our partners can 'unwrap' us. This may seem odd, but it actually dates quite far back. In 18th Century England, a woman's everyday dress would consist of many layers in an attempt to hide her shape from the public. This made her body more exclusive to her partner. It is said that the Duchess of Devonshire's dressmaker created her designs with almost never-ending ribbons to untie and layers to remove as a way of teasing her husband so that he would be at the peak of frustration and excitement by the end of the process. Like a sort of fabric foreplay. I'm sure if the women of today knew about this, they'd spend less time on their knees and more time double knotting their clothes...

This idea of slowly removing layers to build suspense is also reminiscent of strippers. After all, the attire of lace and stockings is based on that of a stripper in the first place. Just as a stripper has many detailed layers of lingerie to remove to excite her audience in a bid for more tips, a regular girl can get the same power rush by leaving a little to the imagination for as long as possible. 

 Disguise

While women opt for this stripper-chic look in the bedroom, the possibility remains that it might be for a reason other than draining your partner for his loose change. To really understand why women dress up, we have to remember that it is essentially for the same reason we have always dressed up.

 As children playing dress-up, we would adorn ourselves in fairytale disguises. As adults we take the same approach of escapism. It seems that while a girl wouldn't feel princess enough without a tiara, perhaps a woman wouldn't feel sexy enough without a pair of stockings. After all, it is all about fantasy, just less of the sort that involves talking rabbits and more of vibrating ones. 

The question to ask ourselves however, is why it is that we want a disguise from ourselves?

 I have always believed that the beauty of sex is that it is a time to be natural and naked, and so making such a great effort could imply that we are not satisfied with our natural naked selves. This of course isn't always the case. For some women, it can help spice up their long term relationships. After all some of us need to feel the need to break out of our roles as girlfriend, wife or mother. Taking on a new persona can relieve us of the stresses of our every day lives, or even the problems in our relationships. 

What Will It Lead To?

Although for some couples this just means a little bit of lace, for others the disguise element can go from figurative to literal. With our generation flaunting suspender belts as flagrantly as our parents generation sported sweat bands, who knows where the craze will land us. I have heard stories of girls going to all lengths of role play to satisfy the men they are in bed with. With our noses in Cosmopolitan magazine, it seems that the women of our generation can get carried away. 

It seems that it's not even just about the outfits anymore. Just like Barbie dolls: girls can take on different accents, hair colours and careers in the heat of role play. It begs the question however, at what point will these girls drop the German milk-maid accent and untie the scarf from around their poor boyfriends mouths to ask if they are actually enjoying it?

Do Men Even Care?

I may not have interviewed every single man in the country, but for the most part it turns out that they don't actually care. At all. Of course, up to a certain point it can make things fun and enjoyable but men seem to not really see the point in all of it. I asked my ex boyfriend today what his take was on the matter of exciting underwear, and he told me the following. 'It is completely unnecessary, at the end of the day all boys want is to see a girl naked. Boys don't actually care what a girl is wearing, if they are genuinely attracted to the girl then it doesn't matter what she has on.' So there you have it. Once again womankind working overtime to please the sex of very simple demands. 

In case you were wondering my view on the whole thing, it is as follows. I believe that sex should be about healthy experimentation. As long as you are confident enough in your skin to be comfortable naked, then why not break out of your comfort zone every once in a while. I believe that as long as our disguises aren't a replacement for natural confidence, then why not have a little fun. After all, men are so often dominant in sex it can be nice to have one area where women can contribute and be in control. If anything, we should take the same approach to dressing up as we did when we were kids...maybe not every day but at least on birthdays and special occasions. 

I hope you enjoyed the read, looking forward to your suggestions

Olivia Jane

xx