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Safe Love Before Safe Sex?



Earlier in the week, I was walking through Boots on one of my typical haircare frenzies, when I found myself faced with something quite startling. It seemed that although there was a mere corner of the mammoth shop for  my newly blonde needs, there was an entire section dedicated to safe sex. It was as if Boots had built a shrine to lubricant.

It seems that 2012 has rolled around, and all of a sudden we are living in a world where the average person over the age of consent is free to walk around wearing their sexuality on their sleeves. Armed with cock rings and all.


Although I am happy for these charming members of the public that have instant access to all of their flavoured and ribbed needs, it makes me wonder what happened to the times of romance when people wore their hearts on their sleeves, and not handcuffs.

In the middle ages, a knight in shining armour would go into jousting wearing the colours of his lady in ribbons around his sleeve. It seems that these times are very much behind us. Nowadays, the closest any girl can hope to get of a guy wearing his heart on his sleeve is if he publicises his relationship status on Facebook. Swoon.

Along with sewage in the street and public hangings, it appears that open romance is a thing of the past - we now live in a generation of sex. This makes me wonder though, in such a bold and forward thinking society why is it that we have all suddenly become so shy with matters of love, why is it no longer acceptable to wear our hearts on our sleeves?

There is of course the obvious answer that I've touched on, that sex is so easily obtainable that no one bothers with love. But I think that is all too easy. In Shakespeare's 'Othello', when Iago said 'But I will wear my heart upon my sleeve for daws to peck at: I am not what I am.' it is assumed by the audience that he is feigning this open hearted, vulnerable state for the sake of his own manipulations. I happen to disagree with this idea. I believe that when Iago ironically offers up his heart upon his sleeve, he is actually inadvertently displaying the fact that he has in fact been hurt before. For anyone that hasn't read this play, this particular character's game playing attitude is all derivative from his own pain. He is a man who feels betrayed by his wife and by his colleagues. Therefore he cannot ever honestly wear his heart on his sleeve again.

Ian McKellen makes it sexy.

What I am trying to say, is that I believe so many of us fear wearing our hearts on our sleeves because we have been hurt before. Even the men of our generation who provide us with the modern day 'knight in shining
armour' fantasy can be rendered totally incapable of showing any kind of open affection, through fear of being hurt the way they have been before. I believe that all across London are a hoard of broken men, with all the life drained out of them by their ex girlfriends. For all I know, I could be one of those ex girlfriends. Several times over. Lord knows I've already turned one of them gay (story for another day). We all have these protective covers over our smartphones and iPods, but never think to protect our hearts in any shatter proof lining.




A good friend of mine shares the same values as me. One of the very few left to wear her heart on her sleeve. She is endlessly passionate and loyal, a total 'all or nothing' type of girl. I believe that once a girl is built this way, it will stay with her in her friendships and relationships alike. A girl like this of infinite faith and love was bound to end up in the arms of a rogue, of course. With such a fierce heart, she couldn't help running to the rescue of a wounded rebel, one of the broken iPhones as it were. When he struggled to give back the same open heartedness she gave him, some of her friends were cautious. I regret to admit that I was one of those friends. I didn't understand how or why she could care so much about this person. But that was of course, because I didn't understand love. She was right to take a chance.

In this day and age, if people like my friend aren't willing to stand up for how they feel and take a chance, no one ever will. At this rate, as we descend into a society with more brands of condoms than Valentine's Day cards, we may be looking at the generation of people too afraid to take a chance on love. I personally do not want or need to fall in love now, or within the next 10 years. Those are my years of careers, fun and realising that I probably have an alcohol problem; but even so I still have my faith in love.

Even if there's nothing we can do about all these broken spirits, I would rather wear my heart on my sleeve than have cold wrists.

Olivia Jane

xx

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