I thought I'd change things up a bit for today's post.
It occurred to me that what this blog really needs is a male perspective. Women like me (and my fictional role model Carrie of course) spend so much time trying to decipher what is going on in men's minds, that we rarely actually just do the simple thing and ask. So that's what I've done.
With a rare opportunity like this, there was no way I was going to waste it on some pansy with morals and boundaries. I needed to speak to a relentless, misogynistic, testosterone driven man. (I know what many of you are thinking, but unfortunately Max Steinberg was busy).
I've found the epitome of all that makes a modern day Casanova. From his Danny Zuko slicked back hair, to his potent cologne, he is every bit the stereotypical womaniser that is perfect for the job.
His credentials speak for themselves, aside from looking like a regular lothario he keeps up an impressive track record.
Although a well raised boy with keen family values in the midst of an impressive degree, when it comes to women he is a totally different person. His phone acts as a scrapbook of naked conquests, thankfully none of whom I've ever met; while he seemingly has access to more girls' privates than the entire Tampax empire.
I've got the opportunity to find out and share with you what life is like juggling 3 unassuming women at a time, from the perspective we never normally get to hear:
Tell me about where you stand right now, in terms of girls?
I'm currently seeing 3, two serious one not. Although the one who I'm not seeing so seriously , thinks it is serious, typical.
So you're saying the one who you're least serious about is most serious about you?
Yep.
That makes sense, obviously the fact that she doesn't have your full attention makes her want you more. Do you think on some level she knows about the other girls?
Yeah she does . She says she is seeing someone else . I happen to be quite friendly with the guy and I know for a fact that she isn't.
So you think she's lying to get the power back a bit?
Possibly , or maybe just to make herself feel better . I honestly don't know.She doesn't have to lie ,
She could easily see someone else if she wanted to
So this girl, girl no3. You care about her the least and yet she cares about you so much that not only is she willing to turn a blind eye but willing to pretend shes so comfortable with it that she is playing it the same way.
My question is: are you still able to respect this girl, or do you even at all anyway?
Oh of course I respect her . She isn't slutty at all. When the time comes that I want to settle down , it will be with her . She is quite flawless. Apart from some insanity, but that's acceptable.
So how is it, out of three girls that the one you care the least is the one you most want to settle down with and have the most dishonest relationship with?
Currently she isn't doing it for me in the bedroom, the difference between the girls is this.
Well all three girls are very attractive . Two are 9's. One is a 7.5/8. One is in London , the other two at University.
Do their ratings out of ten have any bearings on how much you like them and is this just looks, or an overall score?
Nope I wouldn't say so . That is based on looks. Personality wise, London girl is a 7, the two at uni are a 6 and an 8.
...make that 5.
Tell me the point of each of these girls, what purpose do each of them fulfil for you?
Well considering I live in London , I need a girl here. At university I have a Monday girl , and a Wednesday/Thursday girl. I would like to point out that I also date these girls , it isn't just sex all the time.
So essentially, you 'need' a girl to keep you company based on where you are and what day of the week it is?
I would say that is accurate. Also , I don't particularly enjoy sleeping alone all the time.
They sound like Geisha these girls, to accompany you whatever you're doing. Why don't you like sleeping alone?
I suppose I do find myself emotionally attracted to all three on some level . I don't know why I dislike sleeping alone, might be loneliness in bed...I can't put a finger on it. Now you as your readers may ask yourselves , why the fuck I need three women? What a prick. So I will tell you:
I am young , although not as young as most of your readers probably . But I am under 25 . I will get serious sure , eventually . However for now I want to have fun in my life.
It's not for the usual reason of :
Oh I'm such a sick guy look at me dating multiple women . I may have the ability to do so but that is not the reason . Fine it's cool to talk to friends about it , and look like a regular "G" . But at the end of the day I have nothing to prove , unless there is a bet involved...
Now for reputation, in my experience , girls actually care. At uni I have a bit of a rep, seen with multiple girls in one night , in various corners of the club . Now this rarely bothers girls from coming out with me or coming home with me . They either understand I'm a guy having fun while I am young, or they fancy me enough to not care (understandable , seeing as I am rather handsome)
If this is all personal to you, would you say it's a matter of genuinely sharing interest in 3 girls equally, or just filling a void that stops you from coming home to an empty bed?
I would say its a matter of both. lt is filling a void, but some nights I will feel more emotionally drawn to the girl I am with; depending on her mood , how sweet she is being etc
So that's as regard to girls in general, for you as a guy on a night out. What about these three girls, what makes them so special that you regulate the three of them...but so un-special that you cant settle on just one?
Well like I said before I want to have fun . They all have their own special feature which draws me to them. Ignoring the fact that they are all very good looking.
One is genuinely funny , with twisted humour like mine .
One is just incredibly sexy . Just everything she does is sexy
And the "gf material" girl , is very intelligent. Someone I can watch films with and debate with
and is also funny and witty.
Really you're saying that maybe 3 girls are better than one because you can get something different out of each of them. Very Vicky Cristina Barcelona of you. Would you say that maybe you juggle these girls in an attempt to replace the fulfilment of one solid relationship?
Before I was smitten and took a relationship too seriously to realise that it wasn't what I wanted , which is what I have now. It is not to fulfil what I had before at all. I think I just realised "what the fuck were you doing ? You were too young for something heavy like that "
Well i definitely understand where you're coming from. although I'm sure the relationship wasn't so invaluable. Would you say it was this realisation that made you steer so clear from monogamy?
And would you say that's a primarily male attitude, or do you believe girls can become the same way?
No I wouldn't say it was invaluable . I think it was a realisation yes. Although I wouldn't say I will steer clear of monogamy , just less serious in the relationship wagon. And sure I think girls are the same, although they will not sleep around in the same way , unless they really are a slut.
So for you, sleeping around is a way of life right now for a 20-something male. why do you think a girl would only act the same way if they were a slut?
I think girls know how other girls think of them of they do the same, and guys as well and if they keep doing it they will never have a boyfriend.
So you think that girls should avoid promiscuity, otherwise they'll receive judgement from other girls and prospective boyfriends...why would a girl sleeping around prevent them from ever having a boyfriend, would it be a dealbreaker for you?
Hmm yeah that's right, and it would be a deal breaker for me yeh.
I have done some pretty bad things at uni , and if a girl did similar things to me....wow I would be pissed.
So yep total deal breaker.
What you're saying is that you can live with yourself behaving badly, but knowing that a girl behaved the same as you would make it impossible for you to respect her. Doesn't it feel like a bit of a ridiculous double standard? why is it different for you?
Of course it can be considered ridiculous , and it may just be. I will not sit here and say that it's the right thing to say haha. However as I stated before , girls rarely care if a guy is a "slut". Don't ask me why it is so different . I have my own theory though
I have the theory that girls are considered sluts because guy are literally "inside" them.
And dump their load inside. Guys come out "clean".
It's also much more likely for a girl to get something from a diseased guy, that a guy to get it from a diseased girl.
Interesting. So you think that slutty girls come of almost as dirty, because of the idea of other guys soiling them as if they've marked their territory already?
Yep
Correct.
So tell me, how is it juggling sex with these three girls?
I have to be careful no doubt...
Saying the wrong thing , remembering stories that one told, and reminiscing it to another one haha
It can be tough ! But If it happens I Just laugh it off and charm them where possible.
What would you say the key differences are between these girls. What sets them apart in the bedroom so much that you need all three of them?
One gives amazing head , one has an insane backside which I love to look at during sex and gives very good head as well , and the other one is the number 3, who is around a 7 in the sack . Not bad at all but the worst of the 3.
So you've manage to land three girls who are all above 'a 7' in the sack?
No no.
The one who gives the best head is not that amazing when it comes to sex.I forgot to mention that.
But the head makes up for it , undoubtedly.
Well what do you see as more important?
Probably sex, because sex is sex and head is foreplay/end play.
Plus I'm very dominant so enjoy the sex part more than the average lazy lover.
Is there ever any emotional aspect to the sex with these girls for either of you, or is it a mutual understanding of no strings attached sex?
I would say that only with blowjob girl , is it NSA.
There is much passion with the other two.
I'm naive having only really been in one long term relationship, but personally i can't imagine having meaningful sex with more than one person. How is it that you can have this connection with both girls and still feel good about yourself?
There's nothing to feel bad about in my opinion . It all bores down to what I said about being young , and wanting my share of enjoyment with the opposite sex .
I suppose guilt is the wrong angle, what i really mean is do you believe that it's possible to feel passionate about two different girls at a time; especially when you see no foreseeable future at all with either;
not to mention less future than with the girl who satisfies you least in bed?
Yeah I do think it is possible . I didn't say no future either , I just said more likely with girl número tres.
So let me ask you this. if you got an opportunity to step up infront of these three girls, and anyone else for that matter and defend your lifestyle choices. what exactly would you say for yourself, and for other men of your kind? What message would you give our readers?
I would say . I am young, and living my young life to the full. Women who have a problem with this can walk away, and those who do walk away , I'll see you out some time when you are not confronted by other women, and see if you actually care.
Anything else?
Mmm ...I would probably pull my trousers down if I was drunk
Let them see what they are in for.
Well there you have it. It turns out that, for this guy at least, the key to happiness is all about fun. Whether it's with one girl or three, he's faced with the one time in his life where he can act like this with a clear conscience. It seems to me that for our generation, this is a luxury primarily available to the male.
Although a convenient world for modern man to live in, I get the impression that women must be filled up and thrown away like bubble-gum wrappers, and are at a constant risk of being considered 'used'.
Surprisingly our lothario brings up quite an archaic idea. Consider the values of the Ancient Greeks: they believed not in 'gay' and 'straight' but in a world of sex that involved a 'dominant' and 'submissive' partner.
In modern heterosexual society; women have no choice but to carry this role of submission and it seems must take no dominant stance in their sex lives without being accused of being a 'slut'. Perhaps it's intimidating for men to see women turn tables in this way, and they would rather see them ranked by number and skill.
Unfortunately, we have no way of knowing how these three women feel about the unlikely situation that they are in. Possibly because they aren't fully aware of it. What we do know however, is where fate lies for Casanova's prospective dates. He clearly does not force these women to sleep with him, and makes it obvious that should they have a problem with his open sexual appetite and free will then they owe him no obligation. For now he passes the torch back to womankind on behalf of single men everywhere:
"I'll see you out some time when you are not confronted by other women, and see if you actually care."
I'd love to hear all your thoughts as always on this post!
Olivia Jane
xx
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