I rolled out of bed at 7am, threw on whatever I could roughly make out to be clothes in my contact lens-less state and got in my car. This whole 'blind dressing' idea might actually be something I need to reconsider - by the time I got to the morning meeting I realised I was inexplicably wearing polka dot tights like some sort of toddler; but I digress.
It was one of those exhausting Thursday's and once I eventually got to my 7pm viewing I was already mentally at The Delisserie eating chicken soup and listening to everyone I've ever met loudly chat shit.
So I got out of the car in my ogre-like state in my fuzzy tights and questionable fuzzier hair, at which point I saw one of the most gorgeous men I've ever come across. He had the most incredible blue eyes and the prettiest smile and all I could think was:
"Fuck. Why am I dressed like a homeless gypsy? If I make eye contact will he think I'm going to try to sell him a Big Issue?" and so forth.
In the end he said hello and started asking me about my massively oversized iPhone 6+, at which point I awkwardly said something about liking how big it feels in my hands, and then realised I had accidentally all but propositioned this poor beautiful man.
The one thing that really made me think after this meet-cringe was the fact that this guy was so different looking to every other I'd dated. My dating history has heretofore looked like a 'who's who' of biblical men in desperate search of a razor; yet somehow I was drawn to this clean cut, blue eyed person.
I've started to wonder if any of us really do have a 'type' and where they come from.
One idea is that maybe we form a type based on the first person we fall for. When I was 15 I met a stunning gay man named Omer. He get's a lot of name drops here and I think he likes the attention.
It was a beautiful summer fling only slightly dampened by the fact that he always thought it would be 'more special' if we kept our clothes on. Except for when he was helping me pick out what to wear, of course.
He had lovely dark skin and a really broken nose, so as soon as I met the next guy who kind of looked like that...I dated him for the better part of three years. Rash I know, but I like a Jewish nose.
Now that's the other thing. It could be a cultural thing. I have always thought that people are predominantly attracted to people who remind them of themselves.
I think it's really about the familiarity of it. Someone that shares the same coloring as you or even the same mannerisms can instantly come across more attractive. When it comes to Jewish boys, I don't know if it's the familiarity or the constant pang of relatives telling you that *insert dead relatives name* "will turn in their grave" if you don't marry a Jewish boy.
Now it's not always about looks. I think some people can be drawn to a certain personality type - maybe even repetitively. I have one friend with a very timid disposition who always dates very controlling people. It's as if they find each other and slot together like dysfunctional Lego pieces.
I think my problem has always been MPDBs. This is a term I derived from the film stock character 'Manic Pixie Dream Girls'. A MPDG is a female supporting character in a film that comes into the protagonists life as a 'quirky' and 'different' person to teach them about themselves and inevitably move on.
For me, it's the male version. I always find myself drawn to these boys that I know should just be a 'growing-up phase' but I tend to stick with it longer than I should. These are the boys that make you feel like they're different to anyone you've ever met. They listen to different music, talk about different things and make you feel like you're escaping into a dream land. Like most dreams however, they tend to fade out until you realise none of it was actually real.
I think everyone must have types - but maybe for different stages of their lives. The sweet guy that gives you Valentines day cards when you're a pre-teen, the guy who smokes a joint with you when you're a teenager and all the other types that you come across for whichever place you are at in your life.
For anyone that hasn't fallen asleep yet, maybe think about what's changed over the years with the people you've dated. You could be surprised by the patterns you make and those you need to break.
Happy Friday!
The Geisler
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